Material greed of Chinese women turns Chinese men off; Western women become popular

November 27, 2010Jing Gao12 Comments, , , , ,

Li Lei published on the Web an article titled “Chinese men love Western women,” asking Western women living in Beijing if they are willing to foster a long-term and serious relationship with a Chinese man. By long-term and serious relationship, he means marriage.

In China, there are way fewer Chinese men marrying Western women than Chinese women marrying Western men. Why Li Lei has decided to go off the beaten track?

It turns out that the 30-year-old Beijing resident who once studied in the Netherlands and Britain has found himself more attracted to the traits of the Western female character. He thinks that these women are more independent, straight-forward and less coddled than Chinese women.

Being outspoken is what they especially appeal to Li Lei. “If they have something they want, they will tell you directly.”

In addition to posting personals on dating sites, Li Lei, a project manager at a foreign trade company participates in mixed-race speed dating parties and international cultural exchange activities.

Tony, a 28 year-old from Hunan Province, has a fondness for Western women too. He has been an analyst at a multinational corporation for five years, and are in contact with female foreign colleagues on a regular basis.

Tony had two relationships with Chinese women, but was angered by having to find out why his girlfriend had mood swing. As a result, he made up his mind two years ago that women from North America or Europe suit him better.

Chinese women only marry you when you own a mansion

Part of the reason why they now prefer Western women is an increasing number of Chinese women are materialist, and will not make a commitment unless their men buy them a piece of real estate.

Chinese men who, like Li Lei and Tony, only lay eyes on Western women are still in the minority. However, as more foreign girls come to China for language study and life experiences and more Chinese men go out, the share is going to grow.

Fishbowl Events, an organization run by two foreign women that hosts speed dating parties in Beijing, found that participation of Chinese male has significantly grown over the past few years.

Ola Zdzarska, one of the founders, said that in 2007, only 20% of the participants are Chinese male. Now the percentage has risen to 40%. Some among them indeed only pay attention to the foreign female.

Selected comments by Chinese netizens


There are good girls everywhere. You have a bad luck if you don’t meet any. With globalization and development of telecommunication, mixed-race relationship is surely to be more common, but will not become mainstream anytime soon. But future belongs to the multiracial. Chinese women nowadays were born and brought up in a less-developed country. It is only natural to take material conditions into account marriage-wise. Western women were born and grew up in a developed country, and they may care less about material things. But it doesn’t mean they don’t have any requirement. Similarly, a woman brought up in poverty or needy environment values materials and is industrious and thrifty in managing a household. It is not bad if an ordinary man finds a woman who knows her way around budget. Besides, many Chinese women are financially independent. Asking for real estate and a car is but a result of influences of tradition. After all, these material things belong to both of the couple after marriage. And Chinese women are are more willing to working for pay(another result of poverty in the old days). Western women might be able to work after one childbirth. But two? They mostly stay home, and shift the financial burden to their husbands. Statistically, Western women are also prone to extramarital affairs. Because their kids will not demand much mother’s attention when they become of school age, but moms were not able to get back to work after a long hiatus in the social network. They are free, so they have an affair…In fact, there is no good or bad, right or wrong when it comes to marriage. Whoever suits you is the best.
(Original reply was in English)No matter what, you can not ignore the fact that Chinese women are more selfish in general. They are more inclined to take other than to give. They are not good wife’s material.
Reply to greentree01: Don’t say “Chinese women are more selfish in general” simply because your marriage or your father’s is a failure. That’s only your opinion, not a fact.
Chinese women are tenderer, prettier and sexier than foreign women. This is an undisputable fact.
hehe, it is tiring to guess other’s mind. Let girls try reading guys’ mind, she would know how tiring it is. Many Chinese girls are not straight-forward. It is a disservice to both themselves and guys. But there are fewer women than men, so a woman always has some man who spoils her. It cannot be changed anytime soon. You would know whether you are tired. One man’s meat is another man’s poison.
We’d better marry black girl from Africa. They are usually faithful, and do not ask for any house. Being able to afford a tent is fine. Mature Western women, unless they are much older than you or very unpopular, most white women want to marry white women, but you can still have a shot at it on British or American dating sites. No women wanting to get married do not hope for a house.
Forget it. It must be another article written by a bumpkin who’s never been abroad. All women in the world think alike. You are sidelined if you have no house or car, no matter if she’s from North America or Europe. You will still have to fend for her after marriage.

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12 comments to “Material greed of Chinese women turns Chinese men off; Western women become popular”

  1. Hawk8414 | December 3, 2010 | Permalink Reply

    To all men, it is not about materialism at all. But if you can really afford a wife and a family becuase speaking as an American woman, I personally will not have anything to do with a man who will not work nor help provide for the family.

    Some women, not all, are very materialistic, but they have also decided that they are worth more. But they do not realize it is not the 4600.00 purse that keeps you warm at night. It's somebody you can really relate to and communicate with on a daily basis.

    As for me, I work and if i want anything for myself, I buy it,ok? I don't have a a husband, being i tried that twice, they were not good and it was not happy. So, i found myself alone and single at the age of 28 yrs old. I have been alone ever sine. I am happier this way.

    I never asked either of my exes for anything, except help with child support. It was only fair. If he made the children, then he can help pay for them. That is the law as it should be anywhere.

    there are alot of black men, not all, who use white women and then they cheat and lie and run around. These are no good men.

    Black women have learned to live by themselves and raise their kids on their own becuase they have struggled to be strong because the black man does not want to take responsibility for his own children. They play the blame game, it is always someone elses' fault.

    It is not up to me to raise a so-called man. If he claims to be one, then he must be a leader first and foremost. There are no real men's men anymore.

    Alot of American women will not mess with a Muslim man either, seeing how they treat their women so badly and horribly. I,for one, will never get involved with someone whose religious beliefs are so 3rd world and instead of progressing,they are regressing.

    American men bitch and whine about American women because we will not marry beneath ourselves. Why should we? You have to think abotu this: If he can't hold down ajob and help pay for the bills, house, cars, etc… plus you know she's eventually going to want kids, then he should not be thinking of marriage.

    He should further his career until he is financially stable enough and really emotionally mature and ready to handle being in a family situation. American women are emotionally way to o immature in their 20's to be seriously involved with someone. They should wait and further their education and get themselves financially stable before thinking of marriage. But do they do this?



    Because we have all bought into the lie of the white knight and the fairy story. But we don't realize the truth until it stares you in the face.

    American women do have standards. It's just that most American men, depends on where you live, don't meet those standards.

  2. Cleo | December 24, 2010 | Permalink Reply

    It's pretty rude to put one's hand in another person's pocket but the comfort level of living in China is such that I can see why a girl wouldn't want to make her life even worse by marrying and hopes someone can financially offset the everyday difficulties. But if you loved someone wouldn't you want to work one job yourself or even take multiple jobs to shore him up? The Chinese girls should consider careers in nursing perhaps even work overseas as nurses – that improved income will really give them inner peace.

  3. Shawn | March 16, 2011 | Permalink Reply

    This is a bit of a laugh as western women is where the materialist concept originated. While I understand the dependency mold that Chinese women may stereotypically fit into, it is because they are filling a more traditional niche. But to say western women are less materialist is not viewing the whole painting, as this really is a studied topic where women of western origin out buy and out spend any woman from any other part of the planet an astounding 3 to 1.

  4. Liis | January 9, 2012 | Permalink Reply

    In Estonia we have the reverse problem: we have plenty of well-educated women (more girls are going to universities then boys) and girls do not wish to marry those boys who quit school and remain uneducated. Girls are taking over pretty much everything, most doctors are women, most government officials are women, teachers have almost all been women for the last 60 years, and science is getting more feminized by the year. The only field still dominated my men is entrepreneurship – probably not for long. Basically the marriage pool is getting pretty darn narrow – I think an educated Chinese boy would do rather well here. Besides, we have beautiful nature, plenty of space to build your very own house and almost no pollution ;)
    Of course we are also materialistic – nobody wants a lazy stupid husband and support the entire family by herself – that’s why we remain single in the first place, but unlike the examples above, we are willing to chip in and do not expect to be given everything on a silver platter. Hell, some career ladies would be very happy, if the man would agree to stay at home with the kids instead of her.
    I don’t think it even matters how well one looks – if you can hold up a polite conversation, dress tidily and show interest in other things then partying, alcohol, sports and cars – your chances are fabulous. Of course now if you want a “supermodel” – that’s a more difficult catch – but chances are better here then in Chinese big cities, methinks. Then again, I’ve never met a mainland Chinese man – the ones I have come across have all been pretty westernized dudes – I could be wrong and the culture shock might kill you. Viking girls are tough but I have also heard that Chinese ladies are rather tough cookies as well. ;)

    • Guy In China | January 10, 2012 | Permalink Reply

      Wow! It sounds like a very unique situation you have in Estonia.

      On tough girls – I guess it depends on how you look at tough. I live in China, and I would say that most of the girls I know wouldn’t fit the description of ‘tough’ in any manner. Perhaps the hardships of a Chinese girl come later in life, when then have to marry a rich old man because they’re mother and father say so.

  5. Mr. Xiansheng | January 11, 2012 | Permalink Reply

    Men complain about women, women complain about men. Nothing new here. The good thing about Globalization is that if you are unhappy with the men/women in your country you can try somewhere else.

  6. Jeff | January 26, 2012 | Permalink Reply

    No one has mentioned the idiotic stereotyping that these disillusioned (both in the article and the comments) people have after dating or marrying one or two of their own race e.g. I had a Chinese husband, he was lazy!!! That means all Chinese men are lazy, gotta marry a white! Or… I married a white woman, she cheated on me! All white women are whores, that’s why I’m marrying a little Chinese woman, because she’s loyal

    Then 20 years later he finds out she was a former prostitute

    You get the idea.

  7. rotaryseven | June 20, 2012 | Permalink Reply

    Having lived in the U.S.A. for most of my life, I have had the good luck to have dated women from all backgrounds, colors and classes. I went through a phase when I only dated black women. Then I was only dating Europeans and I started out with Asians. But ultimately the race and the country has little bearing on how long or well the relationship is. The biggest factor in relationships is the willingness to compromise. Relationships cannot be a one way street. Both partners have to listen and be willing to share the chores and also be there for the other when times are rough. European women, especially Northern Europe are very independent, but less likely to marry someone unless for getting a green card or what not. But if they are from Sweden, Norway or Germany and Denmark, they mostly will return back to those countries. And why not, those countries take care of their people!

    Eastern Europeans can be incredibly attractive, but very needy, emotionally and financially. However they tend to be very educated and intelligent.

    The Asians that are recent immigrants to North America tend to be easier to deal with than the ABC’s. But ultimately have very traditional attitudes towards men, whether that is good or bad.

  8. runasone31 | December 3, 2012 | Permalink Reply

    well the website is right. As an chinese american. Chinese woman only got for white man for power. I don’t need to go for white woman. I go for any woman. I met the girl from canada and she is irish italian… simple and not stuck up like the chinese woman looking for land.. we flow in all connection and she takes for who i am as a professional. thats how its supposed to be.. some people don’t understand that..

  9. daryl | May 26, 2013 | Permalink Reply

    Do not enter into a relationship with a Chinese women. No love in them except the love of money.

    • mikep2391 | December 12, 2015 | Permalink Reply

      Daryl, I would have to agree with you having been with a Chinese woman for almost two years now. I am older and white. To western standards Chinese women are very materialistic, but to them money and love are the same thing. There is no distinction. Hard to reconcile in the western mind for sure and I struggled with that and still do to some degree. Along with combining those two, they also have a strong sense of duty once they are in a committed relationship, which means she is sleeping with you if she is from southern China. Sometimes they are more trouble than they are worth and sometimes they are the sweetest thing. It is important to them to “take care of their man” which can mean cooking for him, cleaning, etc and also on the physical side. However, if you have a family from another relationship, it is best to steer clear of the Chinese woman. It will be a never ending battle with huge loads of jealously thrown in.
      The materialistic part also comes from a phrase manseur (sp?) which basically means to save face. They are very big on one upping the next Chinese woman either in the car they drive, the house they live in or the economic stature of their boyfriend/husband. They find ways and often lie to put themselves above someone else. Pretty annoying and they go to such lengths at times, it is downright funny. For example, here is America it is very common for a Chinese woman to brag to others about owning multiple houses and apartments worth millions of dollars in China, but in reality these things do not exist and would be very difficult to verify. But, if the Chinese woman rents a room somewhere and drives a 15 year old car, for example, it is pretty unbelievable they are just here to make lots of money, marry an old white guy with money and then return to their millions. Problem is, most of the Chinese women actually believe these things. LOL

  10. Ian | June 30, 2013 | Permalink Reply

    Hi, I am a white Australian living in Australia. Have been going out with a very nice, professional (double degree in engineering) Chinese lady for about the last 2 months. She has lived here for 4 years, is comfortably well off, owns her own place and drives a Lexus 4wd and runs a business. None of her family are out here. We have been sleeping together for about 4 weeks, weekends mainly. Last weekend I took her home, she was nice, she was sweet and affectionate when I dropped her off. Then I rang her on Monday morning to say Hi. It was like “Who are you?” and that is how it has been all week. I phoned her, text her, e mailed her, just one reply all week that wasn’t so great then on Friday evening she phones me, says that she has been busy and I should understand, says that she has to tell her parents to get their blessing if it is to be permanent, says that I think she should put me first and tells me she puts her work/family/friends first and herself last and does not have time to have her own emotional feelings but tells me that if she does not contact me over a 3 week period of time..NOT to worry,that she wont change towards me, because that is the way she is……OK the point is this…she sleeps with me on Sunday morning, but doesn’t want to know I am alive on Monday morning and for the rest of that week, in spite of my trying to make contact.

    I would NOT indulge in writing this only she was totally at ease, affectionate, happy, and well just wanted to with me -then Monday and this week?

    She says I confuse her, but I am lost,, puzzled and just don’t know if this is typical of Chinese women. I have since e mailed her saying ..”goodbye.” because I have been treated shockingly in my eyes and she doesn’t even seem to understand this.

    Can any one give me tip about this??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    Many thanks……………………………………Ian

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