First Chinese forum for mistresses shares experiences, advocates rights, social recognition
February 25, 2011Jing Gao13 Commentsconjugal, extramarital affair, Family, little three, love affair, love triangle, luxury goods, mistress, Online discussion forums, romantic relationship, sex, xiaosan, xiaosan gate
From Apple Daily
xeixe.com is the official website of China Association for Care of Xiaosan (小三, “little three”, refers to a woman, who as a third person causes stirs to and wreaks havoc on conjugal happiness.) The president of the association even published An Open Letter to Peoples Around the World, in which it says that xiaosan, who puts in their passions, is different from er nai (二奶, literally “the second wife,” or a mistress kept by a well-off man), who stays with the man purely for money. The letter defines xiaosan as “professional mistress of the new era,” and plans to observe March 3 as Xiaosan’s Day (Little Three’s Day).
So far, xeixe.com, founded seven months ago, runs as an online discussion forum and has already had 700 plus members, all of whom are mistresses of married men. They claim that they are not fettered by China’s feudal code of ethics. Most mistresses discuss gifts they receive (luxury goods, car and house) and the market rate of monthly allowances (around 20,000 to 30,000 yuan, or 3,000 to 4,500 dollars). They exchange ideas of how to wheedle more money out of their men’s pockets, and even suggest man-swap. Free online tutorials are available in the forum for instructing members how to be a perfect mistress.
They even organize “rights-defending associations” online in a bid to revenge xiaosan who were duped by their men. Methods of revenge include publicizing men’s names, photos and calling for human flesh search. (Jing’s note: a Chinese Internet phenomenon. Net users make concerted efforts to piece together facts and information dotting the Web, e.g. one’s photos, one’s online profile, and even one’s IP address, to identify previously unknown people and expose hidden truth.)
“Many people hate xiaosan. Indeed. Then please make a self-examination before hating xiaosan and hate yourselves or your men with real effort!” An active member who goes by the name “Sister Three (三姐) said that wives should reflect upon their own shortcomings when their husbands are cheating. She clarifies in her online statement that Xiaosan Forum does not openly encourage people to be xiaosan. Nor does it pimp mistresses out to anyone. It is simply a platform for xiaosan to unburden their hearts and make friends. “Xiaosan have their jobs and lives. We are not pushing the boundaries of moral ethics. We are simply a product of the current society that is developing at a breakneck speed!”
Sister Three said, now the international community has recognized homosexuality, Xiaosan deserves sympathy too. Therefore, the association decides to celebrate March 3 as Xiaosan’s day and convene the first annual meeting on that day, as all of them are “the third persons in a relationship.”
Some netizens were astounded by the fact that xiaosan have founded an association, saying, “they are formidable enough already. And now they’ve found an association!” Some said, “The world has changed. The society turns sick. (They) even speak presumptuously after becoming a third person!”