“Major General genre” – how the Chinese make fun of Mao’s grandson’s senseless talk

March 18, 2011Chiafu Chen 陳家福4 Comments, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Mao Xinyu, Mao Zedong’s grandson. He was recently promoted to Major General in Chinese military, and has a Ph.D in military studies. He frequently appears on TV interviews and was often commended for his charisma and wisdom. People love him. People hail to him. Chinese netizens are fond of praising every single comment he makes.

This all sounds all right, because he is Mao’s grandson, descendent of the once paramount leader in China. So he’s bound to have some kind of hero-worshipping going for him, right?

Well, not quite. The truth is that he does not appear to be anywhere close to an intelligent person. His remarks are often hollow, lame and illogical. Some netizens blatantly sneer at his ignorance and stupidity, while others make fun of him in a more subtle way – by praising him excessively that it obviously sounds like sarcasm.

In a recent interview, our dear Major Genral kept on babbling for 2 minutes without making any point. Netizens said it is a classic example of meaningless and silly talk, and the best part is, he didn’t mean to be funny; he believed he was well-versed in everything, thus taking his lameness, ahem, his greatness, excuse me, to the next level.

We hereby present a subtitled video clip from his interview, so that you, too, can appreciate his wisdom and join the people’s army of worshipping.

Youtube version (with English subtitle, translated by Ministry of Tofu)

Unblocked Tudou version:

Transcripts of the video:

(Host) We are now organizing a campaign. It’s about unlicensed teachers. What do you (think of it)?

(Mao)Unlicensed teachers…I want to say…Just now, I…well…then…well, my secretary showed me. I want to extend it (the topic). About unlicensed teachers…I want to…here…this…this…I want…just…just not that I want to dodge anything…I want to stress this…Which is to say nowadays those unlicensed teachers, now our country’s this…speaking of this tea…teaching rank, I think, there is a very important part, called private teachers. Just private teachers. This, how to say, I’ve considered…observed for a long time this private teacher thing. A private teacher…how to say…He even…a private teacher from…I think…Technically speaking, he is not a teacher formally certified by the country. He is…that is to say, he is also, as a private teacher…His…well…Of course, his this teaching quality, his this caliber is surely not as good as this formal normal college kind of thing. Of course, this private teacher thing, including this unlicensed teacher thing you’ve mentioned, this problem has indeed become a…a big problem of the education part. This is to say, first, this is to say…In the future, I…I…I…the problem of education, I truly deeply hope that many of this…I hope a large number of, well, private teachers can, through their…effort, their own effort, painstaking study…Um…can improve their own level. I hope many private teachers can become excellent formal teachers. Well, apart from private teachers, well…who hold our education back, I think now most..most people’s general feedback is to say…Don’t simply talk about private teachers. Even our formal teachers who came out from normal college…their, well, cultivation, and their education background, is yet to be improved.

Next, we will teach you how to write in “Major General Genre” (shao jiang ti, 少将体), or “Grandson Genre” (孙子体), a literary pattern that originated from the above presented speech. The “Major General Genre” has recently become viral on the Chinese internet. Again, this is a pure act of reverence, since we love him so much that we all crave to learn how to make witty, charismatic comments for 3 minutes with deep and profound meanings, just like our deal Major General.

Here is a piece modeled after his speech pattern, which has been spread online by amused netizens. We found it on Chinese social networking site Renren.com.

Japan earthquake…I want to say…Just now, I…well…then…well, my secretary showed me. I want to extend this. About this earthquake in Japan…I want to…This…this…this…I want to just…just not that I want to dodge anything…I want to stress this…Which is to say…Nowadays, this earthquake in Japan, now our country’s this…Speaking of rescue, well, rescue team, I think, there is a very important part, called earthquake in Japan. Just earthquake in Japan. This, how to say, I’ve considered…observed for a long time this Japan earthquake thing…Japan earthquake…how to say…It even…Japan earthquake…from…I think…Technically speaking, it is not an earthquake certified by our country…It is…that is to say, it is also, as a Japan earthquake…Its…well…Of course, its earthquake quality…its magnitude is surely as great as this Sichuan earthquake kind of thing. Of course, this Japan earthquake thing, including the rescue team thing you’ve mentioned, this problem has indeed become a…a big problem of earthquake department…This is to say, first, this is to say…In the future, I…I…I…the problem of earthquake, I truly deeply hope that many of this…I hope a large number of, well, earthquakes in Japan…can, through their…effort, their own effort, painstaking shake…Um…Can improve their own level. I hope many earthquakes in Japan can become super, formal earthquakes. Well, apart from earthquakes, well…which hold back our development, I think now most people’s general feedback is to say…Don’t simply focus on Chinese earthquakes. Even the radiation which came out from normal earthquakes…their, well, quality, and their rescue effort, is yet to be improved.

Many fictional speeches were created using Major General Genre on a wide variety of topics, including Spring Festival Rush and Internet. Netizens used these derivatives to make one point: You can talk nonstop and talk nothing at the same time.

Let the adulation commence.

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4 comments to ““Major General genre” – how the Chinese make fun of Mao’s grandson’s senseless talk”

  1. Hao Hao Report | March 18, 2011 | Permalink Reply

    Someone thinks this story is fantastic…

    This story was submitted to Hao Hao Report – a collection of China’s best stories and blog posts. If you like this story, be sure to go vote for it….

  2. [...] by the excellent Ministry of Tofu: Host: We are now organizing a campaign. It’s about unlicensed teachers. What do you (think of [...]

  3. [...] sujet de moqueries ces dernières années parmi les internautes. The Ministry of Tofu vous présente [en anglais] la dernière livraison de sarcasmes en ligne. Tags: billet, ces, Cindy, mao zedong, [...]

  4. EBTaipei | April 13, 2011 | Permalink Reply

    Wow, that's cringe-inducing. Kind of like watching those Sarah Palin interviews a couple of years ago.

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