‘Party members get girls easily,’ memorable moments at 18th party congress

November 14, 2012Jing Gao9 Comments, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It is widely understood that the 18th National Party Congress of the Communist Party, except for the closing ceremony where the new lineup of Chinese leadership will take the stage, is nothing but carefully staged show with no substance. But some outright lies, shameless tributes and histrionic playacting may make you laugh and give you an idea how the country is controlled by well-fed party members and mouthpieces who cheer about the naked emperor’s new clothes, especially after you look at comments of Chinese net users who, like the kid in the crowd, don’t play along.

Moment 1:
“Party members get girls easily.” — Liang Wengen, president of Sany Heavy Industry

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Liang Wengen at 18th Party Congress

Delegate Liang, one of the richest in China, who heads China’s biggest heavy machinery maker, said on November 11. The day is celebrated by Chinese youth as “Singles’ Day”, a festival for bachelors and bachelorettes, because the date, 11.11, consists of four “ones”. Commenting on the social phenomenon that Chinese of marriageable age have trouble finding a suitable mate, he suggested that single men join the Communist Party, “I actually thought about joining the Party long ago, as in China, if a man is a party member, it is easier for him to find a date. Most party members’ wives are prettier than non-party members’ wives. Chinese girls love party members, because a Communist Party member has ideals and is willing to sacrifice.” (News)

Reaction:

陈有西: He has got really drunk. What a great explanation to that “maintain” thing! (Note: Former political star Bo Xilai, who was deposed earlier this year, was charged with ‘maintaining improper sexual relations with many women.’) .

贺永强: Until now, among all kinds of voices during the congress, Liang Wengen’s speech is actually the only honest one.

Moment 2:
“Even if I get born 1,000 times, I would choose to do that in China.” – Liang Wengen

It’s the same guy, again. He told reporters that during the last party congress, a reporter from the United States said to him that “Sooner or later, you will move to the U.S.,” “I told him, anything can happen in this world, but not this one. If I could get born 1,000 times, each time I would choose to do that in China; if I could die 1,000 times, each time I would choose to do that in China.” (News)

Reaction:

弥生爱天明:If I were in your place and monopolized the business with access to the state’s assets, I would love to be born and die 10,000 times in China. [哼]

自由元素的地盘:If you were a beggar, you surely would wish to beg in the United States!

Moment 3:
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A sea of black Audi A6s carrying Chinese delegates exit the Great Hall of the People at the end of the opening ceremony of the 18th Party Congress on November 8. You’d never have seen this in the days of Mao. (Photo: Diego Azubel / European Pressphoto Agency)

Reaction:

长安县令:The best Audi advertisement of the year.

Moment 4:
“How do the mainstream media in the Middle East watch closely the 18th Party Congress?”

During a live newscast by the state broadcaster China Central Television, the anchor inside the studio asked via satellite the reporter stationed in Dubai, UAE, how “the mainstream media in the Middle East watch closely the 18th Party Congress.” During the entire process, Feng Yunxian, a seemingly fledgling reporter, kept stuttering and rambling incoherently while holding a local newspaper in her hands, only above the fold of which can be seen in the camera, as the evidence of the extensive coverage of the important party meeting. In the end, the anchorman in the studio had to cut her off and blamed her broken delivery on “technical problems.”

Video:

(From 02:05) “The article also said…um…China creatively established the theory of socialist market economy sys..system with Chinese characteristics. But, the West, the Western media, also, Western experts, also once, also said, um…Chi..um…China, Chinese people…um…Chinese people…feel Chinese leaders’…um…ability to exercise their functions…is satisfactory. China…um…condition of exercising their functions…feel satisfactory…And China…and China…and…um…(A deep sigh, followed by silence.)”

But later, it is found that in The National, the Middle Eastern newspaper she held, what is below the fold is the headline “China warned of corruption peril.” Chinese netizens, with much schadenfreude, joked that she must have been too inexperienced at lying in the face of the camera to go on.

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Poor reporter who went off the hinges on the air.

Reaction:

“They didn’t even care to change a newspaper for the better ?”

“The mouthpiece’s sham is now expanding overseas.”

Moment 5:
“Hope our little friends focus on studying hard. The issue of housing prices will be solved in the future.” – Jiang Weixin, Minister of Housing and Urban-Rural Construction

Zhang Jiahe, a 11-year-old ‘reporter’ from Chinese Teenagers News, said to Jiang Weixin, the housing minister, “Houses are too expensive. Dads and moms of many of my classmates spent all their savings on buying a home and even borrowed money from the bank, and had no money to buy toys for the kids.” He asked ‘Uncle Minister’ how he would lower housing prices. Jiang replied, “I hope our little friends focus on studying hard. The issue of housing prices will be solved in the future.” (News)

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Zhang Jiahe, the 11-year-old ‘reporter’ who complained that high home prices have robbed kids of toys.

Reaction:

雪梨Q: Little friends good good study, housing prices day day up~~

(Good good study, day day up, a famous quote by Chairman Mao in the Little Red Book translated to Chinese-ordered English word-for-word, which originally means: Study hard, make progress every day. )

Moment 6:
“President Hu let Chinese people jump high, or fly high.” – Ji Ming, deputy director of Marxism Institute, National Defense University

Ji Ming, a Marxism professor at the military-affiliated institution, was invited by the state-run Xinhua News Agency to interpret President Hu Jintao’s speech at the opening ceremony of the 18th Party Congress. During his commentary, he said, “Last year, my uncle, a chicken farmer in his 70s, told me, ‘Chairman Mao let Chinese people stand up. Deng Xiaoping let Chinese people get rich. President Jiang let Chinese people grow strong. President Hu let Chinese people jump high, or in fact, fly high.’” (News)

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Marxism expert Ji Ming

Reaction:

清晨微微勃: So the next one can let us totally escape gravity, right?

节能增效:Fall off! The higher the flight, the worse the fall! //@青岛大学马兆立: What’s next?

Moment 7:
“We never make much ado about nothing.” –Yang Baofeng, head of Harbin University of Medical Science and academician of the Chinese Academy of Sciences.

Delegate Yang was quoted by People’s Daily, the Communist mouthpiece, in an article about the 18th Party Congress as saying, “Too often my foreign friends ask me why China can create miracles. I would answer, ‘Because we were once deep in affliction and misery, we never take a Z-turn/make much ado about nothing.’” (News)

(Note: The word he uses is zhe teng, over which many China watchers and translators scratched their heads when it appeared in a 2009 keynote speech delivered by President Hu. It is a very informal expression that roughly means tinkering about or doing meaningless things, which is seen as asking for trouble and often ends with self-inflicted harm. Chinese netizens cleverly translate zhe teng to ‘Z-turn’, which also sounds similar to the Chinese word. After Hu introduced it to the Chinese official newspeak, zhe teng now implies effort to experiment political reforms, which is, according to the authorities, is much ado about nothing.)

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Delegate Yang

Reaction:

曹希胜:I wonder if there is any Z-turn bigger than China’s Cultural Revolution throughout human history?!

Moment 8:
Staged photos: [A Hard-working Breast-feeding Female Delegate]

Original photo cutline: After she returns to her hotel room in the evening, Luo Wei, a delegate to the 18th Party Congress from southwestern Sichuan province, continues to study the materials related to the congress while attending to her 4-month-old daughter who is not weaned yet. (News)

Instead of touching the hearts of netizens, the photos immediately aroused suspicion and criticism. Some accused her of being a terrible mother who lets her baby girl sleep in bright lamplight, barefoot, without even a blanket on her. Others noticed the flower pot on the desk and the couch that the baby sleeps on have been displaced from Photo 1 to Photo 2, and from Photo 2 to Photo 3, a clear indication that the photographer must have shot take after take and rearranged the setting.

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Luo Wei works hard in her hotel room with her baby girl sleeping on a couch.

Net users:

刘诗婷MM:What a luxurious office!!!

对外汉语孙莎琪: Is this some sort of Spot the Differences game? Those who are observant enough have already found that the flower pot’s and the sofa’s positions in three pictures are different. Anything else?

Moment 9:
“As long as the Central permits, I am willing to make public my personal assets.” – Yu Zhengsheng, Shanghai Party Secretary

Yu Zhengsheng is the No.1 powerful man in Shanghai and a hot contender for a spot in the Politburo’s standing committee, China’s top governing body, according to a number of prestigious foreign news organizations. When asked about his perspective on President Hu Jintao’s call on party members to rein in families in the battle against corruption, party boss Yu said, “What more can I do to rein them in? My wife has already retired. A naked retirement, in the words of Comrade Wu Yi, that is, without retaining any formal duty, without taking any part-time job, not a tad. So it sees I don’t really need to keep a rein on her. My child pursued his career on his own and is right there fighting, but I told him, ‘you can’t be in Shanghai or deal with units in Shanghai. Don’t you get in touch with officials in Shanghai.’ ”

Then the reporter asked him if he would take the lead to make public his personal assets, he answered with a smile, saying that, as long as the Central (committee) decides so, because he has almost no property, which makes his public disclosure pretty easy. (News)

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Yu Zhengsheng (left) is expected by some experts to become one of the seven most powerful people in China.

Another Chinese official said something similar at the Party Congress. Tian Lipu, head of the State Intellectual Property Office, said at a press conference on November 11, “As for public disclosure of personal assets, I will do as per the Central’s instruction and provide relevant information in an honest manner. If there is such a requirement, I am willing to abide by. No problem at all.” (News)

Reaction:

韩复龄: Another one among ministerial officials has stood up, “If the Central permits, I can make public my assets.” So the Central is seriously at fault. Who on earth inside the Central is obstructing assets disclosure? Why don’t you stand up too?

朱志强同学:In other words, it is all the Central to blame. Hey…The person named ‘Central’, hurry up and respond, thank you…

Moment 10:
“Mengniu and Yili’s milk problems stem from the source, not the companies.”
– Bartel, delegate and local official from Inner Mongolia

At a press conference at the meeting, a reporter asked Bartel, who was once the head of a dairy maker, “We all know that Inner Mongolia is an important source to China’s dairy industry. How do you look at the current food safety issues in China’s dairy industry? As we all know, from Sanlu to, recently, Mengniu, there have been many problems.” Bartel replied, “Actually I can tell everyone, the two big anufacturers in Inner Mongolia, Mengniu and Yili, have no fault at all. The problems stem from the source.” (News)

Mengniu and Yili, China’s first and second largest diary product manufacturer, are not immune to scandals percolating China’s dairy industry. In fact, Mengniu has been publicly flogged by Chinese netizens for producing milk products containing a wide range of hazardous chemicals and toxins. Below is a poster designed by a net user in protest of Mengniu’s questionable products.

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Reaction:

大鹏看天下:The grass is not at fault. So it must be cows’ fault. You squeeze their boobs every day, and yet you still blame them! What kind of person!

芥子投针锋:Exactly. It must be those cows who did not conscientiously carry out the Scientific Development concept and therefore developed a faulty mind.

Moment 11:
Foreign reports visit low-rent apartments in Beijing and say Beijing people are really fortunate

From Beijing Evening News: On the morning of November 13, Chinese and foreign reports were taken on a tour organized by the 18th Party Congress Press Center of the biggest public rental housing project in Beijing. “Wow, this public rental housing community is so beautiful.” Foreign reporters, after taking a closer look, all gave a thumb up. “People in Beijing are really fortunate!” said a South Korean journalist, who has just come to China and still speaks broken Chinese. He said even though he arrived in Beijing in the winter, he has felt the warmth of the city.

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Foreign and Chinese journalists visit a public housing project in Beijing

Reaction:

iBeautyTokyo:That’s just what they call ‘Do as Romans do.’ Now the foreign reporter sounds just like Xinhua News Agency.

微微师太要霸气:Beijing people are really fortunate!//@肥鱼姜: Beijing people are really fortunate!//@感到羞耻: “Beijing people are really fortunate!”//@黑龙江地主哥:“Beijing people are really fortunate!” //@黑龙江地主哥:“Beijing people are really fortunate!”

sea张露: Can I use profanity? No? Then I really have nothing to say~ (Origin)

Moment 12
“One delegate in our group couldn’t help crying.” – He Guiqin, a teacher at a local high school from Guyuan, Ningxia Autonomous Region

Delegate He also said, “On the morning of November 8…General Secretary (Hu Jintao) can even incorporate so many beautiful words into a political report. This delegate was so touched, and kept shedding tears. He said he is truly proud to be a Chinese. Even though he is often abroad, he feels everything is so familiar every time he comes back. He really thinks his own country is great, very pretty.”

She continued, “On the morning of 10, our delegation group shed tears again, reaching an even higher climax. All delegates at the scene kept crying while speaking. We all felt very emotional and expressed our emotions with tears.” (News)

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He Guiqin

Reaction:

fireddd:Be naturalized in a foreign country. Make money off China. Sing praises for socialism. A typical course of action of vested interests.

轩辕龙虎: You cried. But any person with a good conscience, a normal intellect and a relatively low threshold for nausea threw up.

Moment 12:

“In the report, ‘people’ appeared 145 times!” – Tong Mingqian, party boss of the city of Hengyang, Hunan province.

Delegate Tong Mingqian was very diligent. He counted the word ‘People’ one by one inside the report given by President Hu Jintao at the opening ceremony, which lasted about an hour and 40 minutes. The print copy of the report is as thick as 64 pages, but to Delegate Tong, “the concept of putting the people first and governing for the people runs through the report like a red line.” (News)

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Tong Mingqian

Reaction:

@假装在纽约: Instead of counting how many “people” there are in the 18th party congress report, why not count how many people are kneeling in front of offices for petition, how many people are living below the poverty line, how many people have been beaten up by chengguan, how many people have had their houses demolished forcibly, and how many people cannot afford school. Instead of counting how many bursts of applause came from inside the Hall, why not count how many curses are on Weibo.

Last but not least, we should never ignore Jiang Zemin, who, as the former Chinese president, still exerts immense influence on Chinese politics behind the scenes, although he looks really funny and accessible, just like the old man living nextdoors, on camera.

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9 comments to “‘Party members get girls easily,’ memorable moments at 18th party congress”

  1. Jay K. | November 14, 2012 | Permalink Reply

    tis was a classic post! classic!

  2. nathan | November 14, 2012 | Permalink Reply

    Keep this up. Great post.

  3. Blacksoth | November 15, 2012 | Permalink Reply

    My message to Ji Ming: “No chinese are flying high enough to know what you and the rest of the 18th party congress is smoking.”

    He Guiqin whispers: “We all cried when we got the munchies and realized there wasn’t enough for the people to snack on.”

    Tong Mingqian says “I counted, and the great communist party has provided enough snacks for everyone.”

    Bartel commented “If you get sick from any snacks, blame the source.”

  4. Hauni | November 18, 2012 | Permalink Reply

    haha, it’s good information, but biased. it’s made by members of the middle shift who’s interest it is to put the CPC in a bad light. I don’t wish China a Western system, really! however, I ll recommand the page.

    • Blacksoth | November 21, 2012 | Permalink Reply

      The CPC finds itself in a bad light due to their own behaviour.

  5. sfasf | November 29, 2012 | Permalink Reply

    Unsubscribed.

    “It is widely understood that the 18th National Party Congress of the Communist Party, except for the closing ceremony where the new lineup of Chinese leadership will take the stage, is nothing but carefully staged show with no substance”

    Your irrational hatred of the government that has brought continued prosperity, however fraught with problems, for the Chinese is seething. One wonders why you went back to China after “studying” at a US university. I’m sure you’d much happier living in Egypt or Tunisia right now, cause that’s what the US and foreign powers want with a “democractic” China. When’s your next check from the CIA or NED tentacle?

    • Blacksoth | December 3, 2012 | Permalink Reply

      Blah blah blah. So sayeth the 50 cent tourist. Do you think we’re all so dumb?

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